Fuck you Adobe Photoshop

People often ask me, "why did you start this blog?" Well, the truth is...no one has ever fucking asked me. However, if they were to ask me, the above image would be the reason. This 'spiral' is the most common motif to confront a jobbing designer every day. Its the blessed Apple "beachball" that accompanies your mac system deciding to shit itself.

Why is it called a beachball, well in some mashed up semiotic fuck-fest, its name is a hangover from the earlier version  of the 'hang icon' which was a two-bit circle with alternate quadrants filled in. Trust me, it looked like a beach ball. Before posting, I asked my programming mate "what would you shove into google image search to get a pic of that sprial thing" and being a programmer, who knows fucking absolutely everything,  he said 'beachball'. So, there it is, 'Beachball'.

Anyway, Why Fuck you Adobe Photoshop?  Well, that symbol is part and parcel of the "Save for web feature" in Adobe Photoshop. Infact, it is so entrenced it may as well be a feature. New versions of Photoshop will probably say 'featuring "save for web beachball 2.0".

Being a working designer, it is often my task to output hundreds of fucking jpegs so some bullshit-peddler can try and pull the wool over some prospective clients eyes, or we have a meeting, or we have a 'design review' meeting....infact, anything nowadays seems to need a fucking jpeg accompaniment! And why is this annoying, because its always last minute, and you're always in a rush to try and get this work outputted so someone can catch a flight to blow (or be blown by) someone and that's when the blessed 'Beachball' appears. Adobe photoshop just sits there, hangs for minutes, like a silent 'sit in' by a bunch of crusty hippies at a proposed runway site near Heathrow.

Well, fuck you Adobe Photoshop! Thanks for the wasted time, the ulcers and the lack of productivity. Shortcut to brilliant? More 'Long way round to fucking average'.